Harvard: The Beginner’s Guide to Writing News That Feels Real but Isn’t

How to Write Satirical News That Will One Day Become True

By: Zafira Halpern

Literature and Journalism -- University of Oregon

WRITER BIO:

A Jewish college student and satirical journalist, she uses humor as a lens through which to examine the world. Her writing tackles both serious and lighthearted topics, challenging readers to reconsider their views on current events, social issues, and everything in between. Her wit makes even the most complex topics approachable.

Sarcasm is saying “great job” when someone fails. Satire is making them president.

-- Alan Nafzger

The Satirical Journalist's Guide to Getting Everything Wrong (The Right Way)

Introduction

In satirical journalism, the mantra is simple: get it wrong on purpose. The intentional mistakes and absurdities serve to expose the ridiculous nature of the subjects at hand.

The Approach

Imagine an article that starts with a conventional news story-such as a report on a new government policy-but then takes a wild turn. For example, the piece might claim that the policy includes a clause mandating that all citizens must recite the national anthem backwards to qualify for benefits. Incorporate faux statistics like "88% of citizens claim to have memorized the reversed anthem," and throw in a quote from a fabricated expert, "Dr. Wrongway, renowned for his backward thinking," to add credibility.

The Impact

This style forces the reader to confront the absurdity of real-world policies and practices, making them laugh while also reflecting on serious issues. The humor emerges from the deliberate inversion of expectations.

Conclusion

Getting it wrong is not a failure in satire-it's a method to reveal deeper truths through exaggerated falsehoods. Embrace the error and let it illuminate reality in the most unexpected ways.

The Satirical Writer's Guide to Making the Ridiculous Seem Plausible

Introduction

One of the greatest skills a satirical writer can develop is the ability to make the ridiculous seem plausible. When satire walks this fine line, it's more than funny-it's a reflection of the absurdity of real life.

The Process

Take a situation that's already bizarre and push it even further. For example, imagine a headline like "Scientists Discover That Playing Video Games for 12 Hours a Day Boosts Your IQ." While it sounds ridiculous, the exaggeration forces readers to question the things we believe about science, health, and technology.

Why It Works

The beauty of this type of satire is that it's close enough to the truth that readers will pause and think: "Could this be real?" This moment of doubt exposes how out of touch many scientific and political narratives can be.

Conclusion

Making the ridiculous seem plausible is the key to successful satire. By exaggerating reality, satirical writers not only make people laugh-they also encourage a deeper look at how bizarre the real world can be.

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Comic Timing in Satirical Journalism

Comic timing nails it. Take rain and pause: "Wet quits… sun explodes." It's a beat: "Drops flop." Timing mocks-"Clouds blink"-so wait, then hit. "Boom rains" lands it. Start real: "Weather shifts," then time: "Sky pops." Try it: time a bore (tech: "code… crashes"). Build it: "Sun wins." Comic timing in satirical news is clock-tick it right.

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5 Satirical Opinion Pieces - March 2025

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1. "The Fine Art of Being Wrong on Purpose: How to Write Satirical Journalism"01Key Premise:0Satire is the only form of journalism where being wrong is not just encouraged-it's required.Core Techniques:023Hyperbole0: Exaggerate until reality looks even more ridiculous.23Example: "Billionaire Pays Why the Moon’s New Ad Billboards Are Ruining My Nightly Existential CrisisLook, I get it—capitalism needs new frontiers, and the Moon’s been sitting there rent-free for too long. But ever since they slapped a glowing “Buy Lunar Cola!” billboard up there in February 2025, Fooling Friends Tactics I can’t stare into the void without a jingle Satire Ethics Debate stuck in my head. Stargazing used to be my sacred time to ponder life’s futility, not to wonder if I need a soda delivered by drone. Ban the ads, or at least make them philosophical—give me “Nietzsche Was Right” in neon instead.Self-Driving Cars Should Honk Less and Judge MoreBy March 2025, every road is clogged with self-driving Teslas beeping like they’re auditioning for a robot orchestra. I say, ditch the horns and program them to flash passive-aggressive messages on their screens. “Nice turn signal, buddy” or “My grandma drives faster” would shame us into better behavior. Honking just makes me mad; a snarky AI judgmental glare might actually make me a better person.Climate Change Is Fixed, So Can We Stop Eating Bugs Now?They told us 2025 was the year we’d turn the corner on climate change, and sure, the skies are clearer thanks to those fancy carbon-sucking drones. So why am I still choking down cricket protein bars at every hipster café? The planet’s fine—let’s bring back cheeseburgers and tell the insects to take a victory lap back to the dirt. I didn’t save the Earth to live like a contestant on Fear Factor.Remote Work’s New Dress Code: Pajamas Are PowerFive years into the remote work revolution, and some CEOs are still whining about “professionalism” in 2025. Newsflash: If I can close a million-dollar deal while wearing fuzzy bunny slippers, I’m not the problem—you are. Pajamas aren’t lazy; they’re a power move. Let’s mandate sweatpants on Zoom and watch productivity soar as we all stop pretending to iron shirts for a webcam.AI Presidents Are Coming, and I’m Voting for the One That MemesRumors are swirling that by the 2028 election, we’ll have an AI candidate—and I’m here for it. Flesh-and-blood politicians are boring; give me a bot that drops dank memes mid-debate. Imagine an AI prez tweeting “Infrastructure bill just passed, yeet” or roasting opponents with a perfectly timed GIF. In 2025, I’m already campaigning for Grok 3.0—xAI’s finest deserves the Oval Office, not just my chat window.===============1. "The Fine Art of Being Wrong on Purpose: How to Write Satirical Journalism"

Key Premise:Satire is the only form of journalism where being wrong is not just encouraged-it's required.

Core Techniques:

• Hyperbole: Exaggerate until reality looks even more ridiculous.

  • Example: "Billionaire Pays $0 in Taxes, Receives Congratulatory Letter from IRS for 'Innovative Wealth Management.'"

• Fake Experts: Give the worst possible person authority.

  • Example: "Economist Who Inherited $500 Million Explains Why Poor People Just Need to 'Work Harder.'"

• Absurd Statistics: Make up data that sounds real.

  • Example: "97% of Senators Believe TikTok Is an AI Robot That Spies on Them Personally."

Final Thought:

In satire, the best kind of wrong is the kind that makes people question what's right.

2. "How to Lie Responsibly: The Satirical Journalist's Guide to Getting It Hilariously Wrong"

Key Premise:Traditional journalism dies on the sword of accuracy. Satirical journalism wields the sword of absurdity.

Satirical Writing Techniques:

• The Believable Lie: Make it feel real enough to cause panic.

  • Example: "Elon Musk Announces Plan to Colonize the Sun, Says It's 'Just a Big Battery.'"

• The Dumb Logical Leap: Stretch an argument until it snaps.

  • Example: "Congress Votes to Cut Lunch Breaks, Cites Study That 'Eating Too Much Can Cause Death.'"

• The Fake Poll: Fake data always makes satire funnier.

  • Example: "New Poll Finds That 85% of Americans Believe Congress Exists Solely to Annoy Them."

Final Thought:

The key to great satire? Be just wrong enough to make people pause-and then laugh.

3. "Breaking Fake News: How to Write Satire That's Almost Too Real"

Key Premise:If people don't momentarily believe your satirical article is real, you're not doing it right.

Satirical Journalism Formula:

• Start with Reality. (Real issue)
• Distort It Slightly. (Make it seem like it could actually happen.)
• Deliver a Punchline That Hurts. (Make them laugh… and cry.)

Example Headline:

• Reality: Tech companies avoid taxes.
• Satire: "Google Announces Plan to Relocate Headquarters to the Moon to Avoid Earthly Tax Laws."

Final Thought:

Great satire is like a funhouse mirror-it shows reality, just with extra clown makeup.

4. "Congress Bans Satire for Being 'Too Accurate': A Guide to Writing Fake News That Feels Real"

Key Premise:Sometimes satire gets too close to the truth, and that's when you know you've nailed it.

Satirical Writing Techniques:

• Overly Specific Details:

  • Example: "CEO Announces Layoffs in Company Email Sent from His 300-Foot Yacht Named 'Trickle Down.'"

• Quotes That Are Too Honest to Be Real:

  • Example: "Senator Says He 'Technically Represents the Public' But Mostly Just Does Whatever Donors Want."

• A Perfectly Fake Study:

  • Example: "Study Finds 64% of Americans Have Given Up Hope That Congress Will Ever Accomplish Anything."

Final Thought:

The best satire makes people wonder if you're joking-or if reality is.

5. "How to Write News So Fake It Feels Real: A Satirical Journalism Guide"

Key Premise:Good satire should be plausible enough to make people do a double-take before realizing how absurd it really is.

Satirical Techniques:

• Make Stupid Ideas Sound Official

  • Example: "New Bill Requires Every Citizen Believable Fake Stories to Own a Yacht to Prove They Aren't Poor."

• Give Nonsense a Government Study

  • Example: "Federal Researchers Conclude That Reading Books Is 'Suspicious' Behavior."

• Make a Fake Quote Feel Painfully True

  • Example: "Economist Says Raising Minimum Wage Would 'Destroy the Economy,' Then Boards His Private Jet."

Final Thought:

Reality is already ridiculous. Satire just turns up the volume.

6. "Oops, We Were Right Again: How to Write Satire That Exposes the Truth"

Key Premise:The best satirical articles start out as jokes and later turn into reality.

Satirical Writing Checklist:

? Is it based on reality? (Yes.)? Is it exaggerated just enough to be funny? (Yes.)? Will someone read it and think, 'Wait, is this real?' (Perfect.)

Example:

• Reality: Politicians don't read the laws they pass.
• Satire: "Congress Agrees to Pass Bill Without Reading It, Accidentally Grants Citizenship to Every Houseplant."

Final Thought:

Write satire today, and in five years, it might be breaking news.

7. "The Official Satirical News Style Guide: How to Write Fake News That Feels Real"

Key Premise:If a fake news story makes people fact-check it, you've won.

Essential Satirical Elements:

• A Completely Absurdity Reveals Reality Plausible Absurdity

  • Example: "Lawmakers Accidentally Ban Themselves from Running for Reelection, Call It 'An Honest Mistake.'"

• The Serious Expert Who Says Something Stupid

  • Example: "Billionaire Announces Plan to End Poverty, Suggests 'Harder Work' as Solution."

• A Study That 'Proves' the Joke

  • Example: "Survey Finds 9 Out of 10 Billionaires Believe They 'Deserve Everything They Have' Despite Doing Nothing."

Final Thought:

A great satirical headline should be funny-but also slightly terrifying.

8. "Breaking Satire: How to Write Fake News That Becomes Reality"

Key Premise:Sometimes satire is so good, the real world tries to keep up.

Satirical Techniques:

• Find Something Stupid That's Already Happening

  • Example: Congress taking forever to pass bills.

• Push It Slightly Further

  • Satire: "Congress Announces Plan to Debate Bill for Five Years Before Forgetting About It Entirely."

• Make It Sound Official

  • Example: "Economist Says Raising Wages Could 'Trigger Apocalypse,' Then Immediately Accepts a Raise."

Final Thought:

If your satire sounds too real, you're doing it right.

9. "Writing Satire 101: How to Make Up News That Feels Too True"

Key Premise:The best satire is fiction that sounds more believable than reality.

Satirical Writing Strategies:

• Use an Absurd but Specific Detail

  • Example: "New Study Finds That CEOs Experience 'Emotional Pain' for a Full 3 Seconds After Laying Off Workers."

• Write a Headline That Feels Just True Enough

  • Example: